Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. This is how the argument started. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. Janene #1 Ouch! , Excellent news! So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" Wishing you all a good weekend! #17 Wouldn't that be nice? Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. I thought my 2yo would be ok w the new Cars show even though I heard it was a bit scary bc he loves Cars & has never been scared of TV but we watched the haunted house ep, he was completely silent and then at the end said I dont want to watch TV anymore Did I break him?? I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. I'm getting popcorn. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? SANTA IS WATCHING! unless theres ice cream later. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. It's finally March, and you know what that means? Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? from the couch. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. My daughter has an Instagram account now. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Just sell the vehicle. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. ". 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. Sign up to follow me here! I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. Me: You mean red light, green light. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. Like exhaustation. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. Wait, what color is the fence? Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. Think twice about what you say in front of them. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! They started fighting. Is it leave her in the woods? AGAIN. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! Very frustrated. I watched you guys open everything. Hold on to it. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. DON'T. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. Main Menu. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. ". It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! Janene #1 You better believe it To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. ". So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. ". Also, uh oh, summer. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Sign up to follow me here! Wait, why are they jumping? This what I see when I walked in. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Have a good weekend everybody! Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. The sun is shining. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years.